Lyrics Everyone in My Family Doesnt Care About Me, but Its Okay

Beloved songs are where we get our passion, our soul — and about of our worst ideas.

Nothing good tin can come of this. Photo by Achim Voss/Flickr.

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Throughout homo history, oceans accept been crossed, mountains take been scaled, and swell families have blossomed — all because of a few simple chords and a melody that inflamed a heart and propelled it on a noble, romantic mission.

On the other hand, that time y'all told that girl y'all just started seeing that you would "catch a grenade" for her? You did that because of a love song. And it wasn't exactly a coincidence that she suddenly decided to "lose your number" and move back to Milwaukee to "figure some stuff out."

"It's just, my mom. Yous know? And L.A. is so hot in the summer. And yeah, my mom." Photograph via iStock.

That time you held that boom box over your head exterior your ex's business firm? You did that because of a dear song. And l hours of customs service later, you're still not back together.

Love songs are dandy. They make our hearts shell faster. They inspire us to accept risks and put our feelings on the line. And they requite us terrible, terrible ideas about how bodily, real-life human relationships should work.

They're amazing. So amazing. And also terrible.

Here are six love songs that sound romantic but aren't, and i song that doesn't audio romantic but totally is:

1. "God Just Knows," past The Beach Boys

You lot tin can go on your "Surfin' Safaris," your "I Become Arounds," and your "Help me Rhondas."

When information technology comes to The Beach Boys, "God Only Knows" is where it'due south at. A lush garden of soft horns and breezy melody. A tie-dye swirl of sound. A landscape of haunted innocence with some of the most heartrending lyrics always committed to the dorsum of a surfboard.

Youth! Youth! Youth! Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images.

Here'southward why it sounds romantic:

I may not always love you

But long as there are stars higher up you

You never demand to doubt it

I'll make yous so sure about it

God only knows what I'd be without you

If yous're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your dearest and not playing "God Simply Knows" on your iPod, you should really stop and start over.

If yous're lazily bumping a beach ball over a volleyball net and "God Only Knows" isn't playing somewhere in the dorsum of your mind, you need to rethink the choices that got you to this point.

If you're a video editor compiling footage of grainy hippies frolicking in the mud and yous're not underscoring information technology with the opening chords of "God Only Knows," you are doing it wrong.

Hippies, likely on their fashion to a mud frolic. Photo past Colin Davey/Getty Images.

It's a song that just feels similar love. Pure love. Young love. Love with a chill, kelp-y vibe.

What could exist incorrect with that?

Hither'southward why it'due south really really, really unromantic:

At that place'south nothing wrong with loving someone. Sending them flowers. Leaving over-the-top notes in their P.O. boxes. Stroking their hair as they autumn asleep while y'all whisper the complete works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear.

"Miles Ryan stood on the dorsum porch of his business firm, smoking a cigarette..." Photograph by hatchettebookgroup.biz.

But at that place is such a thing as loving someone a skosh besides much.

If you should e'er leave me

Though life would still keep believe me

The world could show nothing to me

And so what expert would living do me?

Expect, I get it. Breakups suck. In that location'south no getting around that. Merely good God.

There'due south a huge difference between saying: "Hey babe, you are my beginning and foremost everything and I'll be bummed if you go." And saying: "Welp, you accepted that job in Seattle, then I'grand just gonna chug a bunch of nightshade and call it a life."

But that's pretty much the gist here. Which makes this line...

God only knows what I'd be without you

...horror-pic creepy. Because the respond, obviously, is: "I'd be a corpse!"

Ah well. We had a good run. Photo via iStock.

That's non love. That'southward codependency (to put it mildly). Oh, and hey! Threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. It'due south a form of emotional abuse.

Investing all your happiness and sense of self-worth in whatsoever relationship — one that, by definition, might i day end — is putting a lot of eggs in one basket. Sure, God may only know what yous'd exist without her, merely God probably also hopes you have, I don't know, some hobbies. Take a yoga class. Google some woodworking videos. Effort kite surfing.

"Yes! Hell yeah! What was her name again?" Photo by Jim Semlor/Federal Highway Administration.

One person cannot exist anyone's be-all and end-all. It'due south besides stressful. And it prevents you lot from doing you, which is a thing that's gotta be washed earlier y'all can do anything else.

No wonder she took that job in Seattle.

two. "Treasure," by Bruno Mars

Sure, it's a blatant rip off of every Michael Jackson song yous've ever heard. Simply, nosotros don't take Michael Jackson anymore, and as tribute acts become, you could do a lot worse than Bruno Mars.

Wait at that face up. That face! Photo by Brothers Le/Flickr.

Hither's why the vocal sounds romantic:

Treasure, that is what you are

Honey, you're my gold star

You know you can make my wish come up truthful

If you let me treasure you

If you permit me treasure y'all

Laissez passer those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an eighth-course brand-out political party and you'll likely go an instant toll pass on the highway to tongue-town (ew).

Pass them to your spouse and, chances are, date night is going to culminate in 47 minutes of chaste-yet-passionate frenching.

Pass them to a cop who pulls you lot over for running a finish sign, and they will think you're weird — only probably notwithstanding make out with you.

In fact, Bruno Mars basically has a lifetime pass to make out with America because of this song.

This is what happens when y'all write "Treasure" and you're on phase with Michelle Obama. Photo past Mandel Ngan/Getty Images.

And I'm OK with that.

Only, here'due south why "Treasure" isn't as romantic as it seems:

Everything virtually "Treasure" is retro. Everything.

Including its attitudes nigh gender.

"Children, have I ever told you what I shouted at your mother on the street the first time we met?" Photo past Jacobsen/Getty Images.

Things start to become south right from the very beginning:

Requite me your, requite me your, give me your attention, baby

I gotta tell y'all a little something about yourself

Ah yes. Nothing screams "respect" quite like a human lecturing a strange woman on the street about something she "doesn't know about herself."

What could it be? Could information technology be that her jokes are funny? Could it exist that she'due south got something in her teeth? Could information technology be that her nonfiction book about early modern High german history is extremely detailed and informative?

"Thanks for teaching me all well-nigh Martin Luther'southward bible!" Photo past Torsten Schleese/Wikimedia Eatables.

Spoiler Alert: It's none of those.

You're wonderful, flawless, ooh, yous're a sexy lady

Simply you walk effectually hither similar you lot wanna be someone else

Oh. It'south that she'southward sexy. Absurd, bro. Very original.

Give-and-take of communication? Regardless of how she'due south walking, the lady knows she's sexy. Fifty-fifty if she doesn't, it really doesn't touch on her day-to-24-hour interval so much that y'all, a complete stranger, need to shout it at her (even over a funky disco snare).

So what if she does desire to be someone else? I'd love to be someone else! I recollect existence Ryan Gosling would be quite nice. A skilful way to spend a three-day weekend.

Sure, in that location'd exist an adjustment period... Photo by Eamonn Grand. McCormack/Getty Images.

And then later, of grade, the narrator can't assist himself:

Pretty daughter, pretty girl, pretty girl, you should exist smiling

A daughter like you should never look so blue.

He respects her then much, he's actually straight-up telling her to smile! Much like Mars' graphic symbol "Uptown Funk," who appears to become off on angrily exhorting girls to "hitting [their] hallelujah." Which, you know, I judge everybody'southward got a thing.

Yes, in the globe of "Treasure," a salubrious relationship is an unending stream of a man complimenting a strange woman and said woman being so totally flattered that she immediately dispenses "the sex."

He then gain to talk to his potential lover like the world's creepiest pirate:

You are my treasure, yous are my treasure

You are my treasure, yeah, you, you, you, you are

Y'all are my treasure, you are my treasure

Yous are my treasure, yeah, you, you lot, you, you are

By this point, in his listen, she's a literal thing. An object. Which is plumbing fixtures.

I suppose it could be worse, though. At least she's not only any thing.

GIF from "The 2 Towers."

That'southward ... something, correct?

3. "Don't Retrieve Twice, Information technology's All Right," past Bob Dylan

For equally long as humans have been dating each other, humans have been breaking up with each other. And "Don't Think Twice" is a portrait of a relationship going down in flames. Glorious, poetic, audio-visual flames.

Bob Dylan, a guy who is good at writing songs that a lot of people like. Photo past William Lovelace/Getty Images.

Hither's why it sounds romantic:

Well, information technology ain't no employ to sit down and wonder why, babe

Even you don't know by now

And it ain't no use to sit down and wonder why, babe

Information technology'll never exercise somehow

When your rooster crows at the break of dawn

Look out your window, and I'll be gone

Yous're the reason I'g a-traveling on

But don't call back twice, it'south all right.

Nail. Strummed on out of that friends-with-benefits situation like whoa.

"Don't Call back Twice" is a raw song. An honest vocal. A powerful song. It's the song your older sis played on continuous loop for six months after her beau left for higher. The song that convinced your Aunt Roslyn to go out her banking company-teller chore, load her four Australian shepherds into the van, and open a wind chime store in Mendocino. The vocal your friend's cool dad always wants to play when he invited your high school band over to his apartment to jam.

"What timbre are yous looking for?" Photo past Sharon Ang/Pixabay.

Sure, it's about the cease of a relationship, but it sounds romantic. And at the end of the day, shouldn't that be enough?

Here'southward why it's actually sooooo messed up:

Relationships end. For a lot of reasons. And while at that place is no correct manner to call information technology quits with someone, when the dust settles, both parties can certainly benefit from a hard, honest word about what went wrong.

Information technology's not me, Joan. It's you. 100% you. Photo by Rowland Scherman/Getty Images.

In "Don't Think Twice," that discussion basically boils downwardly to: "It's your fault."

Let's review the reasons the dude in "Don't Think Twice" is splitting with his lady friend:

I gave her my centre, but she wanted my soul

Ugh, women, right? You're all like, "Babe, I merely accept so much unspecified dearest to requite," and she's like, "Take out the trash!" And you're similar, "But baaaaaaabe, shouldn't my heart be enough?" And she'southward similar, "No, seriously. I already did the laundry, cleaned the whole house, fed the domestic dog, did the dishes, and made both of our lunches for the week. All I demand you to exercise is take out the trash." And you lot're like, "Y'all're bumming me out. I'm gonna become play guitar." And and then she gets all mad! What did you do? Why is she trying to change you lot? UGH!

You could have washed better, but I don't listen

Yes. You practice mind! You mind! Yous wrote a song about it, you passive-ambitious prick.

You just kinda wasted my precious time

Ah yes. Your fourth dimension is so precious! Think nearly all the hours you wasted plumbing the bounding main-deep, ecstatic mysteries of human partnership when you could have been futzing around with that dwelling house-mash kit.

Yes, this was worth information technology. Photo by Bill Bradford/Flickr.

The minute you offset breaking it down, the message of "Don't Think Twice" of a sudden starts to seem a lot less romantic. Similar your sister's ex-beau, who worked at the Bass Pro Shop in town for a while and now might be in jail. Like your aunt'southward current of air chime store, which would have airtight forever ago had she not received that inheritance from her mom in the '80s. Like your friend's cool dad, who wasn't exactly, technically, paying child support.

"Y'all kids want a beer? No one'southward under 13, right?" Photo via iStock.

Oh yes, and the song'south narrator as well indicate-blank refers woman he'southward leaving as:

A child, I'k told

That'due south right. In addition to being a run-of-the-mill passive-ambitious jerk — turns out, he'southward also perchance a pedophile.

Even if we are to accept that this is a metaphor and she's not actually a child — which there's no indication information technology is, merely OK, Bob Dylan — the fact that Commitmentphobe Gunderson here would willingly choose an immature partner reflects way more poorly on him than it does on her.

Breaking upwards with anyone in such a savage, dismissive way is a recipe for sticking them with years of therapy bills.

Which, I suppose, may be the point.

4. "Leaving on a Jet Airplane," by John Denver

Who has two thumbs and wrote a bittersweet folk song almost hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant aluminum tube at 600 miles per hour?

This guy. Photo by Hughes Television Network/Wikimedia Commons.

Here'due south why information technology sounds romantic:

"Leaving on a Jet Plane" is a lovely vocal. And impressive in its loveliness because jet planes were still kind of new at the time information technology was written.

'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane

To a modern ear, this would be sort of like singing, "I'k a scoooting away on my hoverboooooard," but in a way that'south somehow still folksy and heartbreaking and singable by ix-twelvemonth-olds at summer army camp. Non easy to exercise!

Oh babe, I hate to go

You see — he hates to go! He but hates it! Nosotros know this, because he tells us he hates it. And why would he hate to become if he didn't love his partner just that much?

See ya! Photograph past Altair78/Wikimedia Commons.

Why indeed?

Hither's why it's actually not that romantic at all:

All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the world tin can only distract and then much from the fact that the song's principal character is well, kind of a jerkweed.

And in reality — surprise surprise! — information technology doesn't actually seem like he hates existence away all that much:

At that place's then many times I've let you down

So many times I've played effectually

I tell yous now, they don't mean a thing

"Babe, I promise! All the movies I watched alone while you were dwelling house nursing the quadruplets. All the times I drained our life savings on Zoo Zillionaire. All the random sex I had with other women. Totally meaningless. Certainly fun to do! Really fun. Like, I had a fantastic time. Simply rest assured — completely empty, in an ontological sense."

"As empty equally this bed I just finished having sex with someone else in." Photo via iStock.

Yes, when you break information technology down, "Leaving on a Jet Plane," is less of a passionate tribute to beloved overcoming distance and more the deluded ramblings of a guy who needs to convince himself he'southward "good" despite all evidence to the contrary.

And for all he claims to exist broken up about having to function from his 1 and but, the dude seems pretty excited about the flight. Oh, you're leaving on a jet plane, are yous? Are you Zone 1? Gonna humblebrag on Twitter about the "terrible" Cibo express salad yous were forced to choke downwards equally y'all sabbatum waiting to embark on your fun, mysterious run a risk?

"Life and so difficult @ LGA #missingmybabe." Photo by Gesalbte/Wikimedia Commons.

He continues:

Ev'ry place I become, I'll call back of you

Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for you

Ah absurd. He'll retrieve about her while strumming and making "my love is delicate as the morning dew" eyes at a waif-y grad student in the front row. That pretty much makes up for it all.

Then he demands:

And so kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll expect for me

After all the betrayal and heartbreak, after basically revealing himself to be a grade-A sleaze who can't be trusted, he still has the gall to tell her to await? To wait for him?

And hither's the kicker:

When I come up back, I'll bring your wedding ring

Ah yes. He'll put a ring on it. Finally.

"Ehhhhhhh...." Photo via iStock.

Unlike all the previous trips, where he's cheated a billion times, drained the family bank account, and simply been a general screwup and disappointment.

But yeah. This time he says he'll bring back a wedding ring.

I hope she joins a polyamorous octad and never looks dorsum.

five. "When a Man Loves a Woman," Percy Sledge

When you look up "soul" in the lexicon, the book plays you a recording of this song.

Percy Sledge, having a few thoughts. Photo past Gene Pugh/Flickr.

Specifically, it plays you the very first line.

Hither's why it sound very romantic:

When a man loves a woman

Certain, you can write the lyrics down, just it doesn't even come close to capturing the heartache. The yearning. The delicious, delicious pain-belting:

WHEN A Man LOVES A Woman

Closer ... but still no.

WHEN A MAAAAAAAN. LOVES A WOOOMAN!

Yes! Sing it, Percy Sledge!

It'south an elemental lyric.

It'south a heart-shattering lyric.

Information technology's a lyric that demands you put your dorsum into it.

It'southward perfection.

As long as yous don't go on listening.

Here's why the song is actually pretty horrifying:

From the opening lines of "When a Man Loves a Woman," we know that, at least on occasion, a homo loves a woman.

Which raises the question: What happens when said man loves said adult female?

He'd requite up all his comforts

And sleep out in the rain

If she said that's the way

It ought to be.

Whoa! OK. No. Support. A homo, no affair how devoted, no matter how selfless, no matter how in honey, needs shelter. Otherwise, a man will die of exposure and hypothermia.

Plow his back on his best friend if he put her down.

No! Jeez. No. A man can't put upward with that kind of isolating beliefs. A human needs friends! One time a man's whole support system erodes out from under him, a man will exist biting, ungrounded, and alone. And a human's mental health will deteriorate.

I gave you everything I have

Tryin' to hold on to your heartless beloved

Baby, please don't treat me bad.

This is not what happens "when a man loves a adult female." It's what happens when a man loves a decision-making, manipulative woman. An abusive woman. A adult female who, in truth, simply loves a adult female. Herself.

"It's Chris or me." Photo by geralt/Pixabay.

And that's not salubrious.

Run, Percy Sledge, run! We're here for yous.

(Side notation: Lest it go unsaid, there is way more than than one way for a human being to love a adult female. Maybe they spend every waking moment cuddling and bopping each other on the olfactory organ. Maybe they sleep in separate bedrooms. Maybe they dress up in large, plush cat costumes and refer to each other Mr. and Mrs. Kittyhawk. And when a man loves a homo, I imagine information technology feels much the aforementioned. Or when a woman loves a woman. Or when a gender nonconforming person loves a gender nonconforming person.)

Regardless of the depth of commitment, living state of affairs, or combination of genders or sexual orientations, there'south no one-size-fits-all love solution. Every relationship is a unique snowflake. Variety is the spice of life. Necessity is the mother of invention. There's more than one style to skin a cat. A spoonful of carbohydrate helps the medicine become down.

It doesn't matter if it'due south the right metaphor, as long every bit information technology's a metaphor. Photo by Rosmarie Voegtli/Flickr.

Point beingness: Generalize at your peril, Sledge. And please, seek help! You can do this! And if yous e'er find yourself in a similar situation, please give these people a telephone call.

six. "All I Wanna Practise is Make Honey to Y'all," Heart

Honestly, Eye could sing a listing of the virtually popular AllRecipes ("Jaaaamie'south Cranberry Spinach Saaaaalad/World'due south Best Lasaaaaagna/Sour Creeeeeam Cutouts") and it would make me want to bark my eyes out in the arms of a tall, dark stranger at the end of a pier.

This song is perfect. You should always be listening to it. If you're not listening to information technology now, smack yourself in the face and Google it. It'due south just that important.

I am singing the phone book. You lot are weeping like a tiny baby. Photo by FatCat125/Wikimedia Commons.

So much passion. So much pain. And so much hair.

Here'southward why it sounds romantic:

Over pounding drums and a soaring tune, Heart sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson deliver a primal tribute to the i true romantic fantasy shared by every living beingness on Earth: picking up an unnervingly bonny man for ane night of listen-blowing sex and then releasing him back into the wild to bone — simply never quite every bit compellingly ever over again.

They sing:

It was a rainy night when he came into sight

Standing by the road, no umbrella, no glaze

So I pulled upwardly alongside and I offered him a ride

He accepted with a smile then nosotros drove for a while

I don't take to keep because you know what happens next, and it's awesome.

"I simply sit in this cabin. Counting the days since. Counting ... the ... days." Photo by Rene Asmussen/Pexels.

Now, here's why this song is not romantic at all:

The relationship in "All I Wanna Do" seems too good to be true. And it is. Because it's non an equally loving ,or even equally lusty, pairing at all.

It'south a...

It'due south a...

Well. Y'all know what it is:

Good at recognizing no-win situations and delicious with lemon?! Photo by Pikawil/Flickr.

For a while, things are bustling along just fine, like any wholesome, illicit, anonymous thing should:

I didn't enquire him his proper noun, this lone boy in the pelting

Fate, tell me it's correct, is this love at first sight?

Sure, many of u.s.a. might hesitate to pick upwards a strange leather-jacket-clad man standing on the side of the road for a no-strings-attached spiral, only our narrator just has a feeling about this guy, and sometimes, you lot gotta go with your gut.

I can respect that.

We fabricated magic that night

He did everything right

Great! Seems like information technology was a good decision. Bonking the hitchhiker is payin' off big time.

But and so, without alert, the vocal starts to sound less like an all-time keen romance and more than similar a story men's rights activists tell each other as they vape around a bivouac:

I told him "I am the blossom, you are the seed

Nosotros walked in the garden, we planted a tree

Don't attempt to discover me, please don't you dare

Just live in my memory, you'll e'er exist there"

I'm not a poet. Symbolic linguistic communication often eludes me. But unless "blossom," "seed," "garden," and "tree," suddenly mean wildly unlike things in the context of human reproduction than they take since sex was first invented in the early-1970s, we're talking about a surprise, non-mutually-consensual pregnancy!

Hi! Photograph by Avsar Aras/Wikimedia Commons.

Of course, metaphors are opaque, interpretations vary, etc., etc., etc. You might be tempted to think, "Mayhap Heart meant something else by that."

To that I say, no, they definitely meant it:

And so it happened ane twenty-four hours

We came round the aforementioned way

You can imagine his surprise

When he saw his own optics

In that location are two possibilities here.

1: The narrator of the song is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York City subway advertisement from nine years ago:

Photograph by eyedonation.org.

Or two: She totally conned a dude into whipping up a infant on the sly.

I said, "Please, please empathise

Ah, sure. Yeah. No worries.

I'm in dearest with some other man

Absurd, so this all makes sense and is in no way the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has at present wrecked not one but two lives.

And what he couldn't give me, oh, no

Was the one little thing that you lot tin can"

A Homo LIFE! A REAL SENTIENT Human being LIFE THAT IS NOT INCIDENTAL TO ALL OF THIS!

The best y'all can say well-nigh that is that it's not technically illegal, and that leather-jacket man probably should accept been responsible for his own nascency command. Or, at the very least, asked more questions .

But ... it's non cute. It's not romantic (even the Wilson sisters themselves agree).

And at the end of the day, the shadiest character in this song is somehow not the rain-soaked hitchhiker wandering to nowhere in the dark.

Which... is proverb something.

But there is a love vocal that is truly, madly, deeply perfect. An unassailable track in a body of water of problematic faves.

A song that does everything right.

A vocal that paints a portrait of a salubrious partnership built to last.

A song that can double equally a transmission for the ideal human romantic relationship.

And that vocal is...

"Candy Shop," by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia

Hither'south why you might be — OK, virtually definitely are — skeptical:

fifty Cent (L) and that guy. You know, that guy? That guy! Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

As catchy every bit "Candy Shop" is, every bit fun information technology is to trip the light fantastic to, and as cathartic every bit it can exist to scream in the middle of a crowded fraternity house at two a.m., at that place'southward no getting effectually the fact that the song begins like this:

I'll have you to the candy shop

I'll let y'all lick the lollipop

I'll post that over again, in case y'all missed some of the nuance:

I'll take y'all to the candy shop

I'll let you lick the lollipop

Style to accept one for the team, narrator of "Candy Store"!

At first glance, "Processed Store" is nobody's idea of a classic honey vocal.

The lyrics are ... unusually forward. The beat is kinda basic. The claw is like the music they play when Abu Nazir sidles scarily by in "Homeland."

OooooOOOOoooooOOOo. GIF from "Homeland."

Information technology doesn't get played much anymore. When it does resurface, information technology feels ... kinda dated. Like watching that DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Burn down" on your new Xbox 360.

It's not a song you lot'd put on a mixtape for your crush. It'southward not a song you lot'd play for your spouse when the kids are at home with the bodyguard and yous've got nine hours to tear up the Piscataway Hampton Inn. It's certainly not a song you'd include on the video photo montage you made for your grandparents' silvery ceremony.

It's just not.

But it should be.

So here it is. Hither'southward why "Candy Store" by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia, is really the perfect relationship song:

You wanna back that thing up or should I push up on it? Photograph by ionasnicolae/Pixabay.

The bass drum hits. The MIDI violins whine. The singer starts filling out his fellatio permission skid. Information technology's just been xx seconds, and you're already getting ready to hang information technology up with "Processed Shop."

But then ... over the square thrum and the mewling strings, a miracle occurs — in the form of a female person vocalisation joining the track, cutting through the din similar a clarion phone call.

She sings:

I'll take you to the candy shop (yeah)

Boy, one taste of what I got (uh-huh)

I'll have you spendin' all you got (come on)

Keep going 'til you lot hitting the spot, whoa

It's common! It's mutual! They're performing oral sex on each other!

Band the bells! Blindside the drums! Release the doves!

Get, cunnilingus doves, go! Photo by liz westward/Flickr.

50 Cent himself may not exist the world's greatest partner — for example, co-ordinate to ane of his exes, he'southward done some pretty unforgivable things.

But the narrator of "Candy Shop"? He gets it:

Yous could have it your way, how do you want it?

Rather than simply imposing his desires on the person he'due south with — a la the dude in "God Only Knows ("I'k going to invest my entire sense of self-worth in you!") or the street heckler in "Treasure" ("I'm going to treat yous like a chest total of gold doubloons!") or the sociopath in "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You," ("I'm going to trick you into knocking me upwards!") — the "Processed Shop" guy actually asks his partner what she wants.

Which, in the world of pop music, is expert for nearly 50,000 trillion points.

And where are they going to do it? The hotel? Back of the rental? The beach? The park?

It's whatever yous're into

'Cause consent is sexy!

I own't finished education you 'bout how sprung I got ya

The narrator of "Candy Store" is certainly ... assertive near his desires.

But hither's the key thing: the lady on the receiving finish of those desires? She's conspicuously into it. And we know this because she says so.

The lines of consent in "Candy Shop" are vivid crimson, highlighted, and soldered into the weirdly mucilaginous club floor.

Meanwhile, Robin Thicke is outside trying to convince the bouncer that his uncle is a lawyer. Photo by Grim23/Wikimedia Eatables.

Girl what nosotros practise ...

And where nosotros do ...

The things we practise ...

Are just between me and you lot

No matter how nasty they freak, it will be intimate. It will exist private. There will be no revenge porn (the epilogue to "Blurred Lines," to wit, would definitely be a protracted, emotionally devastating lawsuit).

If you exist a nympho, I'll exist a nympho

Sexual compatibility is key to the survival of any human relationship, whether years, weeks, or (very possibly in the case of "Candy Store") minutes long.

She may accept a high sex drive, just dude is graciously offering to arrange her. What a gentleman! These crazy kids just might go the distance after all.

And at the end of the twenty-four hours, what is a relationship but ii nymphos, sharing wellness insurance?

Thanks, Obamacare! Photograph by Wonderlane/Flickr.

It's like it's a race who could get undressed quicker

Again, everybody is having a slap-up time. And, critically, an every bit slap-up fourth dimension.

I affect the right spot at the correct time

Of class, it wouldn't be a pop/hip-hop hit without a spot of random braggadocio, simply if nosotros're to take him at his word, "Candy Shop" guy is at least every bit expert at "doing everything correct" as the anonymous hitchhiker from "All I Wanna Do is Brand Love to You lot" — except without all the creepy surprise baby nonsense.

The "Candy Shop" guy is a keeper. Because he's non a hero or a stranger in the night or a funky, shimmering beloved god. He's a proficient partner.

"Candy Store" is raunchy. It's dirty. Information technology'due south not your grandmother's love song.

Merely when yous strip abroad the swagger, the back vanquish, and the weird strings from "Best of Public Domain Eye Eastern Music 1993," by the end of the song, both people are satisfied. And at the end of the twenty-four hours, isn't that what a good for you relationship is all about?

Aye.

Uh-huh.

Photo by Francois Durand/Getty Images.

Then seductive.

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Source: https://www.upworthy.com/6-songs-that-seem-romantic-but-arent-and-one-that-seems-like-it-isnt-but-is

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